Honesty kills my imagination
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Let me just put this out there first.
I am a honest person,
In the sense that, I'm not fond of lying. Mainly because I don't see the point to it. I mean... if you did something, then just say you did it, if you didn't, say you didn't! Is it that hard of a concept to grasp?
When I make a wrongdoing, do I try to lie my way out of it?
99% of the time, no.
It's simple, I always have a reason for doing wrong. If my reason doesn't justify it, I wouldn't do it.
The simplest example I could give is skipping school or work.
If questioned, would I deny it? Nope, most probably not.
Why do I skip school? Because I'm tired, I can't do shit when I'm tired. Because if I have my proper rest, I would learn faster at home. Because by the time I wake up it would be pointless to head to school anymore.
Why do I skip work? Because it's stupid. If I know I'm not going to have any work, I'm not graded, my attendance is not taken, and I'm underpaid. I don't see the point. You can scold me all you want. I'm willing to accept the punishment for it. Because the rewards are far greater than the punishment. I'm not going to waste 10hours+ of my life (including travelling) doing nothing.
Now here's the fun part, lying is an incredibly tough task for your brain to accomplish. Especially when you have to lie on the spot, especially when you're trying to poop out a convincing lie.
Wait, before you say that I lie very often, then here's the catch, I'm not lying, it's just sarcasm. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, but it's just a really bad habit.
When something is plain obvious, or just simple common sense, making me explain it to you, flips a switch inside of me. I may put on a poker face, but what I feel inside is:
All the bullshit aside, lying essentially means creating a convincing story out of nothing. I've been out of practice, and it makes writing a story really really hard. I've been thinking about the new story for days. But I'm totally stuck. All the slogging for English composition seemed to have gone down the gutter.
It's not that I can't write, but I have to make a conscious effort to think about it. Story writing shouldn't be a logical thinking process! It should flow out naturally, I should feel like I am inside the world, walking the footsteps of the characters, smelling the wind and hearing their heartbeats.
Atlas, I seemed to have lost the magic.
Which is why I admire my friend D, he has an uncanny ability to lie just about anything. Sure it's annoying, but it's pretty amazing in it's own way. I don't think he does it consciously, but after doing it for so long, it has became second nature to him.
Thankfully, the years of friendship manifests an ability in me to differentiate his lies from truth.
As you can see, writing an article like this? Easy peasy. The thoughts simply flows out from my head, to my fingers, onto the computer screen. It's like a one step process.
Suffice to say, I'm simply not very good at writing imaginative stories anymore. But I'm not going to stop trying! So brace yourselves for a shitty story in the near future. That's the only heads up I could give to you!