Being a gentleman, or not.
Monday, May 21, 2012
My friend prompted me to think about this dreaded topic couple of weeks ago. I live in a country called Singapore, everyone is perpetually busy and going around doing their own things. There has been quite a bit of debate going on.
Actually, there is no debate, just a one sided bashing from the female population.
Singapore guys are not gentlemanly.
A.K.A., no chivalry.
I said there's no debate because truth is if the guy isn't interested in you, he can't be bothered to argue with that point. Hence, our argument is, "No, we're not ungentlemanly". Which... really isn't an argument all on it's own.
My friend isn't the first one to complain about it. During my internship, my colleagues decided to talk about that topic on my first day of work. Yeah, those aunties were trying to make my life hard. What kind of a conversational topic is that for a virgin intern?
Anyway, I Googlged Chivalry and Gentleman.
From what I can understand,
Chivalry means protecting the ones weaker than you, guard the honor of your fellow brothers.
Gentleman means a guy who is preferably rich, respect others and have good manners and intellect.
I'm 99% sure the girls isn't referring to the qualities above.
What I think they mean is drama-like behavior. Opening car doors for them, pulling the seats out for them, , treating them with TLC (tender loving care), being extra kind to them, listen to all their whiny crap.
Here's the catch.,
They expect it from all the guys.
Fuck you, seriously. Fuck you. You really think guys will spend all that extra effort for girls they don't have interest for? You want every single guy to treat you like their girlfriend without you reciprocating?
Yes, you could argue that there are guys like that who behave exceptionally well to people who are just their friends. I've encountered a couple myself, and I swear to god I'm every bit as impressed as any girl would be. Good for them, they're brought up in a pristine environment, they know how to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Incredible.
As impressed as I might be, I'm not a fan of that. When someone acts all nice and courteous to you, it feels like there's a wall between. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on that part.
Which is why, ironically, when I start cursing you, you know that I've removed my wall and start treating you like a friend. Because fuck you that's why.
I can't speak for other countries, but in mine, many treat treat girls as friends with almost equal footing with other guy friends. Which is why some girls would call their male friends "sister", and some guys will call their female friends "bro". Unsurprisingly, neither party mind it. It's just... a different way of bonding.
Would you treat your bro like a gentleman?
Yes, but not in the way a girl would understand.
Sometimes girls expect guys to treat them the way people in drama treat each other. Well, it's not happening for 2 obvious reasons.
1. This is the real friggin life.
Trust me, I've never heard a pretty girl complain about the lack of gentlemen.
I must stress that, anyone who complained before, you're not ugly, just... whiny.
The interesting question is, am I a gentleman?
How can you really determine if one is or not? Obviously I act in a humane way as much as possible. If I see you behind me, I wouldn't just slam the door in your face. If you're looking for someone who'll go an extra mile, then your expectations are a little too high for a friend.
My conclusion is this.
There are 4 reasons why a guy would be a gentleman towards you,
1. You just knew each other.
2. He's a little gay.
3. He likes you.
4. You're pretty.
There are 3 reasons why a girl think there are no gentlemen,
1. Your life is not a movie/drama.
2. You're not pretty.
3. The guy who likes you is a wuss.
There's only 1 advice for the girls who are troubled by this.
"Get prettier, for my sake as well as yours."
Here's the LordofGeeks, signing off on this relatively pointless post.