Dealing with people who push, squeeze and cut queues.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I was about to write something really ridiculous, then an annoying old man prompted me to write this.

Opening statement:
"Fuck all of you people who push and squeeze in buses, trains, or crowded places."

For all intents and purposes, I'm going to use the train as a reference but it's typically the same situation for other scenarios.

Really? You're that urgent to enter the train? You couldn't wait 4mins for the next one? You really have to push all the people in front of you? Really?

To those people who try entering the train when everyone is getting out, really? You can't tell that you're making everyone's life harder by doing that?

To those people who try to squeeze in (aka cut queue) for escalators, you really think that it's okay for you to go from the sides and squeeze in, cutting the queue of everyone lining up for the escalator?

I'm going to tell you how to deal with them.
Scratch that, I'm going to tell you how I deal with them, then you can decide for yourself if it's the right thing to or not.

The most recent one is the whole escalator situation as I was heading home, a middle aged man popped out from no where and tried to squeeze through. The problem is, when someone pushes you, the first natural response is to back down a little bit.
 Fuck that. 
When a person pushes you, stand firm, do not let him/her push you. If you're as anal as me, give a little push back, it doesn't have to be a lot, but it's definitely enough to state your point: "no fucking way, you asshole."

Doing that is enough to make the person realize what they're trying to do is fucking idiotic, and they would back down and be less rowdy. (at least it worked 9 out of 10 times for me)

The next most anal thing is the squeezing in when people are getting out of the train. If that person happen to be beside you, don't let him/her get away with it.
Use your shoulder, and try to drag him/her out of the fucking train. 
If you're daring enough, use your hands. Even I don't use my hands, unless the person is in my face, then fuck him I will push him OUT of the damn train.

For the next situation, it's not bad courtesy per say, but it's fucking annoying. 

Have you ever been on a train, you're standing in a corner or backed against something, the train isn't crowded, there's plenty of places, but some random douche will stand extremely close to you? (most of the time back facing you)

First, it's invading my personal space.
Second, I can't use my phone properly.
Third, I feel like I'm breathing in his/her hair.

What do I do? I will place my foot, right behind his/her's. So if the train jerked and he loses his balance, he will definitely feel like he's going to trip. Then he'll realize that, "oh, I'm standing way too close". If that doesn't work then you're better off just standing somewhere else.

If you're wondering why I didn't do the more mature thing and ask the person to move, think about this.
He will think you're freaking weird.
You're probably too shy to do that.
It's kind of anal to tell someone off about that.

Which is why I conclude that "tripping" someone is the most direct - indirect way to give a piece of your mind to someone.

If you're wondering if all of these has ever gotten me into any trouble, then I'm proud to say, I have a spotless record. The most I've gotten is a, "tsk" and/or a stare. Which I would gladly comply by staring back. (if I'm not wrong that is)

Again, exercise caution when you're trying to teach someone a lesson. If you don't think it's working out, apologize and get the hell out of there. It's not worth risking anything for.

I realize that writing this make me seem like an extremely anal person. In one way or another, I probably am. It makes it okay when you're right though. Better not let me catch you being annoying in crowded areas.

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