NSD #2 - Life after 1 month
Saturday, July 13, 2013

One month has just passed since I have became a soldier, is there anything particularly different about myself? Maybe. Discipline is something that I really lack in the past, and I'm not saying that I have mastered it to any extent, but at least it is part of my daily life now.

NOTE: The following post may seem... a little out of order sometimes, that's because I am typing this by looking at my daily writings. So yeah.

Throughout the past month, I have been writing religiously in a little book about my thoughts and the little events that occur. Because I haven't finish writing about my confinement week, I shall start/continue from there. (honestly I don't know how the fuck I survived 3 weeks without a computer)

Okay so far I have been writing about how shitty it has been for me, and it was. But it isn't entirely horrible, more on the good parts later.But here's the thing, I puked on the 2nd day (and felt like crap for the rest of the day). Honestly there was a point in time where I felt like crying, but that feeling quickly passed when I finally gotten some rest.

Was I sick? Maybe, I really don't know, but I was told to report sick on the 3rd day of my enlistment. (which is really stupid) Even though it may technically be a good thing because I get to skip out on strenuous stuffs, I felt extremely retarded. In the report sick booklet, it's my honour/shame to have my name up there at the very top. I got an AttB on the 3rd day of army.

On day 4, I drank tea in the morning. (having drank Milo for the past 3 days). I immediately felt better. I think I was having caffeine withdrawal which explains my fucked up body; I used to drink tea pretty much everyday.

Being on AttB may be a blessing in disguise. As I am "out" of the platoon, I get to see things in a bigger picture, and not just one of the many ants in the scurrying along the ground. I get to listen to the conversations my commanders have, their reasoning behind making us do what we do. Up till then, everything has been obligatory orders, but today, I got to see the human side of Army.

Moving on, the next 2 days has been more of an introductory lesson and a little physical training here and there. Understanding malay commands is a brain twister for me. (thankfully I have pretty much internalized it in my head). By the end of this week, both my legs were hurting and aching all over. Really, most of the pains come from climbing 5 floors whenever we need to do anything.

The food has been alright, it wasn't bad, but it doesn't really perk your appetite. Though when you're hungry, everything tastes a thousand times better. Throughout the 3 weeks, there has been some food that really boosted our morale several times over. that included spaghetti, tauhuay, macoroni, fried fish/chicken, chicken nuggets, yogurt, ham; most importantly, motherfucking ice-cream! That feeling of glee swept me over and I almost spread my arms out to hug the cookhouse aunty.

Week 2 has been... interesting. We had our vaccination which made my arm hurt like fuck! Honestly, some of the medics should shoot themselves in the balls. Just as this regimented lifestyle begins to tear my muscles apart, lady luck decided to blow on us. Blow haze I mean. In the middle of the week, the haze suddenly hit an all time high of 200+ PSI. The day was cut short as all outdoor activities were cancelled and replaced with lectures and long talks. It was really tough staying awake man.

The next day, we woke up to the clear skies, thinking that our paradise has been stolen by the wind. As we finished up our morning exercises, I felt like my eyesight was getting worse. Do I have not enough sleep or is there something wrong with my eyes? Turns out, the wind is one with us after all. It hit another record high of 300+ PSI. The following 4 days were still plagued by the ridiculous haze that peaked at 500+ at one point of time. The weather was so fucked up I thought we were all going to die. Seriously, visibility was <500 meters. All ferries were stopped so we had no way of escaping this hell hole either; it was then that I wondered if this haze was such a good thing after all. One of the greatest perks is that they screened 2-ish movies for us. The Hunger Games and Saving Private Ryan. I say 2-ish because we watched both half way and stopped, apparently there was something to learn from the parts they show but it's really just their excuse for trying to pass the time.

Having spent 2 weeks together with 13 other guys in a confined place has forced us to form relationships with one another. I swear there are nothing gay going on. Apart from that time where C was stimulating L's nipples, and that time that ... oh wait. Nothing normal was going on, at the very least.

Oh right, speaking about not being gay, there is this Malay guy that has zero, or negligible amount of shame. There was this period of time where he regularly came over to our bunk to do stretching. Of course, I am talking about his unrestrained display of his circumcised penis. Mostly, he would dangle it around J, because he had the strongest reaction to penises. He would swing it over his face while J was lying down speaking on the phone. It was as disgusting as it was amusing to watch.

For the sake of simplicity, I will actually start using names because it's much simpler on my end. That guy J is called Jai. He's this innocent looking indian who had average height and looks cute (in the kiddy way). Everything was in line with what we thought of him, until he decided to let himself go. Vulgarities and retarded movements chain-comboed one another in a ridonculous effort to piss people off.

What the fuck.
note: I feel like this half the time over here.

There's this thing that he says to imitate Japanese and I quote
"Moshi moshi, fuck my pussy."
It rhymes so nicely I kind of hate myself for not thinking of that earlier. But anyway, in response to his endeavors to annoy people, we decided to set up a little prank for him.

He happened to go take a shit, so all of us hid in the bunk, either lying down or sticking to blind spots. Then we locked the door; to make it look like we have all gone somewhere and he wasn't informed about it. Man, that reaction he had was priceless. There was that sense of panic in his voice when he asked around about what happened to us and where we went as he held on to his roll of toilet paper, standing helplessly outside.

Yes, I do feel bad for him, but you know, just a little, I think he deserves it.

Disclaimer: I really don't know what I can or cannot say about army as there really isn't any sort of guideline. So... I shall keep things vague wherever possible and hope that nothing bad happens.

We had some sort of training for our guard duty, and I handled handcuffs for the first time in my life. After watching so many movies and shows, I was kind of disappointed by how it really looked and feels. So something funny happened during the training.

We practice in pairs, and there was this pair that caught my attention. Guy A cuffed Guy B and he just walked away without bothering to get the key to unlock, leaving Guy B stranded and unsure of what to do with his hands behind his back. So Guy B did the "smart" thing and tried to maneuver his way out of the cuffs by moving his hands down and trying to slide it through his legs. As he reached his butt area, he realized that he couldn't go any lower, and then, he realized that he can't go back up either. He was literally stuck with his hands on his butt in an awkward half crouching position.

Conclusion: Guy A is such a bitch.

Anyway, there is this commander L that I find interesting and I like him, even though he gives us the most shit so far. I really don't understand myself either. He is an extremely sarcastic person, who doesn't like to phrase his words in a straight forward manner. Even though he has his fucked up moments (it really isn't that bad), there are times where he somehow found the right words during his lectures. I say lectures because he likes to give speeches while we stand under the hot sun, really man, this guy knows how to play his cards.

There is this one thing he said that I immediately made a mental note in my head to write it down. So his was lecturing us as usual, but this time we had to stand absolutely still under the sun for over 20 mins? I can't remember the exact duration because I couldn't check the time.

This is what he said:
"Think of this as my way of introducing my expectations of you."

It's a very simple sentence with no superfluous words, but it was elegantly phrased. He also spent a lot of time to think of an interesting way to punish a guy who couldn't finish drinking 500ml of water. Oh about the water, we must hydrate ourselves before activities (water parade). But some people find it hard to gulp down 500ml in a short period of time, and you just pray that you don't get caught. There happened to be time when we suay suay kana check, so a bunch of people got caught.

Thankfully, they had an option for their punishment. Either write a 400-word essay on why they couldn't finish drinking the water, or drink 1-liter subsequently for all water parades. Most people obviously chose writing an essay; however, there are a couple who failed. This commander L decided to punish him by making him write a 800-word essay on why he couldn't finish writing a 400-word essay. Yes, it is needlessly pointless but it was amusing so I think that it's all in good fun.

Moving on to the little things that happen in the bunk when we get our precious free time off the crazy training schedules. There was a time when we sat around the table and sang "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", for no particular reason really. Our platoon manage to win in frisbee during games day and earned the right to use the vending machines, after 16 bloody days we finally get permission to use our coins. It goes without saying that we were extremely happy for something as trivia as this. Nearly everyone bought their own drinks and waited for everyone to be back in their bunks, before running out onto the corridors, gathering all the bunks and shouted in cohesion, "YAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM SSSEEEEEEENNNGGGGGG!!!!" (translation: drink to success!)

There are a lot more minor details that wouldn't make a lot of sense out of context and some are a little disgusting to be honest so I'll leave it out for now.

The next thing I'm gonna write is actually quite a major event to me.
The rifle presentation.
I finally held a proper weapon for the first time in my life; and it was heavy. Not to the point where it takes a lot of effort just to hold, but I can definitely see a problem running with it. Not sure what else I can really say about it since I haven't gone to the range yet, it's just bulkier and unwieldier than I thought.

Oh right, there's another guy called C-tend. Story behind his name is that when he was asked about where his buddy was (in a lecture room with the whole company), he replied, "C-tend sir!". Well, he cocked up Attend C. I guess these things do happen.

So the funny story about him that he was sick too (Attend B), and this happened in a lecture room as well. We were having something retarded called a PT lecture and there happened to be this female instructor present too. Mind you we have been deprived from all female interaction for around 2 weeks at that point of time. So when one of the male instructor said, "I hope that all of you will give your 100% in all activities." C-tend raised his hand up, pulled down his mask (looks like a surgical mask) and shouted, "If the female instructor join us, I will give my 110%!"

Then the guy beside me turned to me and said, "Jibai lah sick already dick still so energetic."

As you may have noticed I never write anything regarding the training because... it really isn't interesting in the least bit. It's really just physical training, and it makes us really exhausted.

Anyway, at the end of all these, we finally survived through the confinement weeks and got to bookout day, which kind of sucked for me as I fell sick, and I still haven't fully recover now. Fucked up body. So yeah, there is still 2 weeks of stuffs still unwritten and maaaaaaan I hope we get our hands on the laptop soon so that I can type some there instead of spending so much time at home just writing down the stuffs from my "diary".

Long story short, my experience in army has been more or less like this. It's hard, but it isn't entirely bad. Even though I still find this 2 years pointless and a waste of my time, it's a fact that I am already inside and I have to do it anyway, might as well make the most of it. For now, my goal is simply to write better, and have better penmanship, my handwriting is decent, from a distance.

OH YEAH I FINALLY FINISH WRITING THIS SHIT. Hopefully I can keep this pace up next time!

On a random note, I read this recently and found it to be interesting and rather true for my case. Most of the time when my bunk mates are lying around or resting, I would open up my book and start writing in it. It may be a funny event, or a meaningful thought, it may even be just some jibberish that was on my mind at that moment, but it does relax my mind a little as I pen these little stuffs down letter by letter. Maybe some of you will learn to enjoy writing as I have too!

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